Published survivor account
Just left a church that controlled my life
Anonymous Author · Church Name Withheld
I spent over 25 years in a church where the pastor controlled almost every part of our lives, from how we dressed to who we could marry. When I chose my own path, I was humiliated, isolated, and turned against by people I considered family. I eventually left the church, but the experience shattered my trust in Christianity and left me with trauma I’m still working through in therapy years later.
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I have attended a church for over 25 years. It was a known mega church, but the leader was manipulative and controlling. As a young girl growing, there was lots of rules, how to dress, how and what color to apply makeup, there was physical touch, compliments , etc it was overwhelming. We were not supposed to meet other people from other churches and god forbid visiting a church on a sunday or being absent. The pastor would control love lives of other members. He would decide who would marry who. When it came my time, I knew I would be denied marriage. During the time of my engagement I was rebuked and called stupid girl. Of course, this led that this pastor got emotional towards me and fell in love. As soon as I knew, I decided to change church. He took away my family and brainwashed others from the church looking at me as a rebel. During the time I was at church, I saw signs but was so naive thinking the pastor and the leaders wanted me pure and perfect. This ruined christianity for me and the way I now look at churches. I left altogether but this trauma stayed in me. In therapy for years now. You heal some parts, only to move on but it shattered a big part in me.
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